Welcome to Harry's Life
by Airri Phlyer
Summary: Harry connects his past with a song on Dudley's radio Welcome to My Life, by Simple Plan, plunging him into deep selfpity, but is raised out of that well of selfpity by the timely arrival of his friends. A filk.


**Welcome to Harry's Life**

_**A/N: The song on Dudley's radio is Welcome to My Life, by Simple Plan. This is a filk, and I had sudden inspiration for it when I saw the title (looking for Shut Up, by Simple Plan) on a website.**_

_**P.S. It has slight R/H and H/G pairings.**_

_**P.P.S. I considered using Neville instead of Harry, but thought Harry would work better. Enjoy!**_

Harry sighed bitterly. It was his fault, he knew it. It was his fault that his parents had died, Cedric had died, that Sirius had died, that Dumbledore had – had –

Suddenly, Dudley turned on his radio and an American song came on.

_Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place?  
Like somehow you just don't belong  
And no one understands you._

"Yes." Harry answered the song's questions with a heavy heart. "Nobody knows how I feel."

_Do you ever wanna run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room?  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
And no one hears you screaming _

"I've always wanted to run away from the Dursleys, even after I knew it was for my protection." he mumbled.

_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels alright  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me... _

"Nobody knows what it's like to be like me. I'm the only one who Voldemort marked as an equal. And nothing's going to be all right. Voldemort's still out there, and now...now...Dumbledore's _dead_." Harry shuddered as he finally voiced the words that lead to the hollow feeling just below his heart.

_To be hurt, to feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life _

"Hurt. Lost. Left in the dark. Kicked when you're down. Pushed around. Breaking down. Nobody's there. Nobody's there." Harry repeated the key points of the song, connecting them with his life. Physical pain, from his many injuries. Emotional pain, caused by the deaths of many good people – all because of him. Left in the dark – the summer before his fifth year, nobody would tell him anything. Kicked when he was down – Voldemort and his Death Eaters, in the graveyard. The Dursleys always pushed him around, and everyone gave him orders. And when Harry broke down and cried, which was rarely, there was nobody there, to hold him and hand him tissues.

_Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more  
Before your life is over? _

"Yes. Yes. Yes." Harry murmured, feeling all the more connected with this song. He'd lost track of the times he'd wished he was somebody else. And again, the summer of his fifth year. Thinking about the last sentence, he realized that he knew his death was eminent, and he wanted to do all he could before it happened.

_Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding _

"Stuck in the Dursleys, and sick of them. And Scremeouger, trying to get me to work for the Ministry. Thinking that I'd do it onceDumbledore ... was ... _dead_." Slamming his fist down on his windowsill, he scowled at the memory of Scremeouger.

_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels alright  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me.._

The song repeated a verse, and Harry felt, yet again, every word fit in with his life.

_To be hurt, to feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life _

"My life," he spat bitterly, staring into space.

_No one ever lied straight to your face  
No one ever stabbed you in the back  
You might think I'm happy  
But I'm not gonna be ok  
Everybody always gave you what you wanted  
You never had to work  
It was always there  
You don't know what it's like  
What it's like._

Harry checked off everything the song mentioned. "Lied to, yes. Stabbed in the back, yes," his voice grew hard as he thought of Wormtail. "Think I'm happy, well, not really." Harry relented. "Gave you what you wanted, Malfoy." Draco Malfoy, who was ordered to kill Dumbledore. But at least he chickened out, whereas _Snape_ did it with hatred on his face. "Never had to work, _Dudders_," Harry glowered. Even a walk from the refrigerator to the living room was too long for 'Ikle Duddykins'. "Don't know what it's like. Nobody does."

_To be hurt, to feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like_

Sighing, Harry leaned on the windowsill, staring out into space. He could not even guess as to how true this song was.

__

To be hurt, to feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life

"Welcome to my life," Harry repeated.

"Squalid, isn't it?" a familiar voice said.

Harry whirled around, amazed and slightly angry to see Ron, closely followed by Hermione and Ginny, standing in the door to his room. "What're you doing here?" he asked, a hint of a snarl in his voice.

"Easy mate," Ron warned him, "Midnight's your birthday, remember? We're here to help."

"Help what?" Harry glowered. He didn't like being interrupted when he was in self-pity.

"Oh Harry," Ginny sighed, walking towards him and slipping her hand in his. "The protection that Dumbledore laid on this house is going to disappear at midnight tonight. So, we suspected that Vol-Voldemort," she finally said, "would try to attack you. We thought we'd get you out of the house as soon as possible and protect you."

Harry whirled to face Ron and Hermione, who were now also holding hands. "You told her? You told her everything?"

"Sorry, Harry," Hermione said earnestly, "but she suspected most of it, and we, er, decided that she deserved to know."

"You _what_?" Harry almost shouted.

"Harry," Ginny said quite firmly, "you should've told me yourself. I'm your girlfriend, if you haven't noticed."

"But," he protested weakly, "but I told you you had to stay away from me."

"Yes, and that was because you were being protective of me. You know I hate it when people try to be protective of me."

"But," Harry repeated, feeling quite helpless.

"No 'but's, Harry. I'm going with you. Nothing you can say or do can stop me."

Secretly, Harry was pleased for the company, but he quickly pushed that thought away. "Ginny, it's too dangerous. You can't come."

"Yes I can, Harry, and I will." Ginny said mulishly. "I was possessed by a sixteen-year-old V-Voldemort when I was eleven. Then last year I went to the Department of Mysteries with you. Don't say I'm too young or it's too dangerous."

Throughout this entire exchange, Ron and Hermione had sat silently on Harry's bed. Finally, Hermione spoke up. "She's right, Harry. And it's not as if she won't be of any use. She can do magic now, since the Ministry temporarily lifted the no-underage-magic law."

Harry saw defeat, and sighed. "Please, Ginny, don't do this." he begged.

Ginny also sighed. "I have to, Harry."

Once Ron saw that Harry was mostly persuaded, he spoke up. "It's not as if I want her to, Harry." he said seriously. "She's my sister, and I don't want harm to come to her. But she does have a point."

Harry knew that if Ron agreed to letting his little sister go into danger, then he should also. "Just . . . just be careful, alright?" he asked faintly.

"I promise." Ginny said with a small smile.

And that was that.


End file.
